You know that old saying that every wise woman in your life would share with you growing up?
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
How the heck do you apply that to motherhood?!
I often feel like I’m beating myself up over how I’ve spoken to my family in the past 12 hours. I mean, sometimes you just get so frustrated about repeating the same chore multiple times a day, that eventually all of your built-up frustration has nowhere to go but directly into the ears of, even your smallest, family members. amiright?
It takes a wise woman of amazing patience to apply that saying to her everyday life, every. single. day. And patience is the virtue that is super hard to come by when you’re a mom.
Wise woman kinda mom or not.
In every good or bad situation there is truth.
That truth being the only thing anyone can 100% rely on, the Word of the Lord. When someone wrongs me and I don’t know how to handle it, I look to the Bible to give me direction. When I’m feeling sad, or lonely, or upset, I look to the Bible for help.
It’s not that I’m a “wise woman” and that’s why I go straight to the source of truth that only seeks to help me. It’s just that I’m kind of over being stuck in, what seems like, a never ending cycle where I seek “truth” from people or things.
They’re never prepared to handle the weight of the storm of feelings I tend to carry around with me.
When I’m feeling less like a wise woman, I’ve made the decision to seek guidance from the One who created me.
I mean, He does know me best. When I look for direction in the Bible, God speaks to me every time. God speaks to me through the promises that He’s already written over my life.
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Here’s a great one:
“A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
– Proverbs 14:1
Back to that good ole saying, if you read this with the perspective of speaking kindness and love, think about how many times a day you tear your home down with your own hands. Or words.
But here’s some encouragement for you! This verse gives the option to choose the path.
Do I want to be known as a wise woman, or a foolish one? [insert ‘duh’ here…]
The fact is, none of us want to be known as a foolish woman. We long to be the wise woman all day, everyday. We do whatever it takes to appear like we’ve got it altogether. But we miss this key element most of the time.
The way we speak to one another, particularly those closest to us, is what really distinguishes us as a wise woman or a foolish one.
Not only in the sight of our friends and family, but most importantly in the sight of God.
I’ve had my fair share of foolish moments in our home. I can think back and remember tearing down my home, brick by brick, with every irrational and hurtful thing I’ve ever said. And I am so not proud of that!
What I am proud of, however, is that God has given me grace. Enough grace to cover all of that ridiculousness, and replace all of my foolish moments with His love. Slowly but surely, the Lord has helped me rebuild my home and reestablish myself as a wise woman.
The Lord has always given me exactly what I need when I need it. That keeps me from finding myself in a sea of self-destructing behavior again.
As I am growing into the wise woman God has created me to be, my mind focuses more on the good things that are before me, instead of the things that used to annoy me to no end.
I 1,000% believe that my home is much, much happier. All because of my willingness to realize that I had an issue. #wisewoman
Here are three things that can help you become a wise woman in your home:
1. Seek the Lord
This was the first step in my journey to becoming a wise woman. I had to be real with myself, recognize all of the things I was saying or doing that made me look foolish, and then seek the promises the Lord has already placed over my life so that I could confidently live into the wise woman I really wanted to be.
Here’s a verse that I like to recall when I’m needing strength to push past my irrational, negative, and foolish feelings so that I can call out the wise woman inside my soul:
“Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” – Philippians 4:10-14
2. Believe in your self-worth
My self-worth is hidden most days. It’s hard to feel valuable when there’s dried snot on my shoulder. Or when my sink is full of dishes and I’m constantly being asked the same questions over and over again.. But that’s what makes this step so important.
A wise woman knows she is valuable.
One of my favorite verses to read when I’m feeling less-than is Luke 12:6-7. The Bible says I am worth more than one million canaries.
Canaries are tiny birds that aren’t that expensive, but the Bible says God never overlooks even one of them.
If He spends that much detail on a tiny bird, can you imagine what He feels like towards me and you?
Here’s an exclusive blog post I shared with my email audience.
>>> My secret weapon for self-worth and how to determine your value as a stay-at-home mom
Click to read it if you need help believing in your self-worth as a wise woman.
3. Take it one step at a time
I love you, and God loves you, but you aren’t going to become a wise woman overnight. You have to make the decision to react like a wise woman with every fork in the road.
Yes, eventually, it will be easier to always take the high road, but trust me, in the beginning, the easier way will always be the foolish way. And that’s not the way we want to go.
We can’t always be encouraging. That’s just fact.
The emotions God has created inside each of us, keep us from being in an A+ mood 100% of the time.
Nevertheless, if you have the desire to be a wise woman, you can be. With every choice you make, ask yourself if it’s wise or foolish.
Starting out, there will be plenty of times you will mess up. That whole “thinking before you speak” thing is what gets me every time.
But, overtime, you’ll start to notice situations that used to make you tear down every brick you spent months adding to your home.
Those situations will make you smile, because you’re choosing to handle them the way a wise woman would.
This is going to take work, but I know you can do it! You just need a little motivation and confidence.
Why don’t you join me and some other moms who are just like you in my exclusive Facebook Group for moms who need encouragement, compassion, direction, and purpose.
I’d love to connect with you and chat with you more as you begin your journey to being a wise woman of God. So CLICK HERE to join me!